Firm Rules Are Good For Your Child
By Margaret Burgess
The world is a far more scary and complicated place than it was when you were a child. As a result, it's imperative that you set adequate yet fair boundaries with your child. Very likely, this is one of the things that parents hate doing, which is most important. Children are required to make choices every day, and they need boundaries to make sure they remain safe as they make those choices. Limits teach children proper restraint in social and individual activities and provide children with necessary structure and security to assist in healthy development. Setting limits also provide children with guidance before they have an opportunity to get into trouble, thus making them more successful with everyday life.
A child's age and developmental level needs to be considered when setting limits. Even if children should be encouraged to be independent and able to make some decisions, they must always feel safe and protected as well.
And of course, the needs of a teenager are very different than the needs of a baby. A small child loves to explore and discover, and it is up to parents to make sure the child is safe while learning his way into the world. Teenagers are required to make more personal choices, though they still need parental guidance.
Limits should be discussed and set prior to the situation. Even if teenagers do expect the unexpected at times, their daily expectations should be fairly predictable. A teenager who breaks curfew may have the privilege of going out with friends revoked until they learn respect for the rules. A child that misbehaves in a game should be isolated until he learns how to behave.
Children respond in a positive manner in an environment in which they know what to expect and what is excepted of them. A child will be more respectful towards rules and more willing to abide by them if the rules are clear and consistent. And, caregivers should always respect the rules as well. The child will probably not even try to change the limits unless he believes the bending is possible. Don't forget that you are the law maker. There should not even be a need to argue with your child. Be firm and consistent and they are less likely to challenge the rules and will accept the consequences.
A child's age and developmental level needs to be considered when setting limits. Even if children should be encouraged to be independent and able to make some decisions, they must always feel safe and protected as well.
And of course, the needs of a teenager are very different than the needs of a baby. A small child loves to explore and discover, and it is up to parents to make sure the child is safe while learning his way into the world. Teenagers are required to make more personal choices, though they still need parental guidance.
Limits should be discussed and set prior to the situation. Even if teenagers do expect the unexpected at times, their daily expectations should be fairly predictable. A teenager who breaks curfew may have the privilege of going out with friends revoked until they learn respect for the rules. A child that misbehaves in a game should be isolated until he learns how to behave.
Children respond in a positive manner in an environment in which they know what to expect and what is excepted of them. A child will be more respectful towards rules and more willing to abide by them if the rules are clear and consistent. And, caregivers should always respect the rules as well. The child will probably not even try to change the limits unless he believes the bending is possible. Don't forget that you are the law maker. There should not even be a need to argue with your child. Be firm and consistent and they are less likely to challenge the rules and will accept the consequences.
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